In today's feature, I thought we should take a look at the sensual babe. I took great care in selecting from a never ending pile of men via Google Images when I remembered the one and only John Legend.He can be described in one word: scrumptious. But if I was only going to use one word to describe all these babes, this blog would be boring and some pseudo artsy shit, and no one wants that. So let's dig deeper.
What makes John Legend so incredibly sexy? (And let me add I despise the word sexy except for special instances, and god damn it, this is one of them.) I don't think I'd last even 36 seconds in his presence. God forbid he allow me in the passenger's seat of whatever SUV he has that runs on the souls of Chinese children. Remember getting in the car after the waterpark, and since you were too much of a little shit to listen to your aunt and dry off, you'd have to hang with the swamp seat for an hour? That's how wet I'd be. Motherfucker, I will drip through your floorboards; you'll be calling every auto mechanic in town to check for a leak. Look in those eyes. Go ahead. Stare for a second. I'm not judging you. Tell me you don't want him in your mouth. I bet he's into some serious bloodplay, owns a dungeon, and has a foot fetish that would rival Quentin Tarantino's. And you know what? That's fine, John. Put me up in your sex swing, gag me, fuck my feet and carve your name into my back. We're just ordinary people.
It's an epic bummer dude is gay.
ReplyDeleteCause he is superfine.